








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2380 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2632 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1525 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1617 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,084 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SuperKanon | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | juju | 39% | 54 |
| #11 | Tante Randi | 33% | 36 |
| #12 | eriK | 32% | 22 |
| #13 | Tomso | 31% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrTeddyBear | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Tomso | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Andy ☕ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | SuperKanon | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | eriK | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrTeddyBear | 233 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Andy ☕ | 227 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Legreid | 140 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gjøs ☕ | 72 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tante Randi | 69 | 0.09 | 2 min |





