








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2606 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3721 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2239 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3327 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,780 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SHALALALALAMSM | 46% | 125 |
| #6 | kald | 46% | 123 |
| #7 | GokPi π | 45% | 44 |
| #8 | Kuurly | 43% | 61 |
| #9 | XuNu | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alloway | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | SHALALALALAMSM | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | kRICHUM | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | kald | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Kuurly | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHALALALALAMSM | 829 | 0.32 | 26 min |
| #2 | Alloway | 501 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | kRICHUM | 381 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Kuurly | 242 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Machine'So | 184 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHALALALALAMSM | +2.56 | 46 | 89 |
| #2 | Alloway | +2.28 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | Kuurly | +1.11 | 59 | 72 |
| #4 | XuNu | +0.70 | 72 | 78 |
| #5 | GokPi π | +0.20 | 55 | 63 |





