








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2168 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2552 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3227 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1979 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,338,233 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neyo #TeamEcoG | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | GokPi π | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | Alloway | 50% | 214 |
| #4 | SHALALALALAMSM | 50% | 248 |
| #5 | kRICHUM | 49% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kefren | 46% | 123 |
| #8 | Machine'So | 46% | 191 |
| #9 | Kuurly | 45% | 58 |
| #10 | SANT4 | 39% | 28 |
| #11 | Luffy | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHALALALALAMSM | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Alloway | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | kRICHUM | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Machine'So | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | XuNu | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHALALALALAMSM | 1668 | 0.32 | 53 min |
| #2 | Alloway | 765 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | kRICHUM | 597 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | Machine'So | 517 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | XuNu | 379 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHALALALALAMSM | +2.71 | 50 | 88 |
| #2 | Alloway | +2.56 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | XuNu | +1.57 | 74 | 80 |
| #4 | Neyo #TeamEcoG | +1.49 | 87 | 75 |
| #5 | Kuurly | +1.37 | 61 | 63 |





