








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 171 matches | ||
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 172 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15402 | 46% |
| Smokes | 4066 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 9239 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4934 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,428,399 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aspw0w | 71% | 288 |
| #2 | above | 68% | 480 |
| #3 | WaZzA | 66% | 747 |
| #4 | pew^ | 64% | 553 |
| #5 | uⁿDerWearTaker | 61% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | above | 68% | 480 |
| #3 | WaZzA | 66% | 747 |
| #4 | pew^ | 64% | 553 |
| #5 | uⁿDerWearTaker | 61% | 182 |
| #6 | Rossiplier | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew^ | 73 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | aspw0w | 58 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | WaZzA | 51 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | above | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | uⁿDerWearTaker | 12 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | above | 2143 | 0.23 | 58 min |
| #2 | WaZzA | 1867 | 0.13 | 49 min |
| #3 | aspw0w | 919 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #4 | pew^ | 811 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| #5 | uⁿDerWearTaker | 204 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaZzA | +5.73 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | aspw0w | +3.47 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | above | +1.49 | 73 | 75 |
| #4 | pew^ | +1.40 | 42 | 52 |
| #5 | Rossiplier | -0.71 | 59 | 62 |





