








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 226 matches | ||
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15042 | 39% |
| Smokes | 9272 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8501 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6133 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,791,345 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1975 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaZzA | 71% | 545 |
| #2 | pew^ | 69% | 310 |
| #3 | uⁿDerWearTaker | 68% | 95 |
| #4 | Game -_^ | 68% | 480 |
| #5 | aspw0w | 67% | 551 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Game -_^ | 68% | 480 |
| #5 | aspw0w | 67% | 551 |
| #6 | Vengeance | 61% | 70 |
| #7 | Le_Brotato | 60% | 60 |
| #8 | booo0000 | 60% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aspw0w | 63 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | pew^ | 51 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | WaZzA | 26 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Game -_^ | 26 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | booo0000 | 9 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Game -_^ | 1778 | 0.19 | 47 min |
| #2 | aspw0w | 1711 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #3 | WaZzA | 1256 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #4 | pew^ | 449 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | booo0000 | 348 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaZzA | +5.09 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | aspw0w | +3.90 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | above | +1.24 | 72 | 75 |
| #4 | pew^ | +1.01 | 44 | 50 |
| #5 | booo0000 | +0.18 | 82 | 69 |





