








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 851 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 410 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10233 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7252 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5374 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7084 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,652,960 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nani | 52% | 185 |
| #6 | Kaljakeisari | 50% | 50 |
| #7 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | 49% | 63 |
| #8 | Krokotiilinnahkabootsit | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | Cobb | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krokotiilinnahkabootsit | +1.94 | 82 | 43 |
| #2 | webe | +1.45 | 58 | 72 |
| #3 | zrfnd | +1.37 | 70 | 76 |
| #4 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | +1.09 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | osmo | +0.90 | 88 | 64 |





