








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5927 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6842 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8746 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8319 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,129,556 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 963 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Creepy | 48% | 160 |
| #7 | Ice Cold Nutz | 47% | 90 |
| #8 | Nani | 43% | 263 |
| #9 | ♿ | 42% | 83 |
| #10 | turpaanleipuri | 40% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NASU | 48 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | turpaanleipuri | 22 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Creepy | 19 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Kaljakeisari | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Ice Cold Nutz | 9 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nani | 1179 | 0.23 | 30 min |
| #2 | Kaljakeisari | 712 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | NASU | 533 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | Creepy | 374 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ice Cold Nutz | 301 | 0.17 | 8 min |





