








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1486 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 84,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 34147 | 41% |
| Smokes | 20210 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 17154 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 12795 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,969,529 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sprada | 58% | 156 |
| #2 | ♿ | 53% | 150 |
| #3 | FЯAG | 53% | 185 |
| #4 | zrfnd | 52% | 185 |
| #5 | Kurmu | 52% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Eli | 46% | 235 |
| #17 | punis | 45% | 384 |
| #18 | handd | 44% | 282 |
| #19 | Cobb | 43% | 263 |
| #20 | Kimmo | 42% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | 31 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Ice Cold Nutz | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | punis | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Kaljakeisari | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | zrfnd | 15 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | punis | 1931 | 0.24 | 35 min |
| #2 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | 1848 | 0.13 | 52 min |
| #3 | Kaljakeisari | 1450 | 0.17 | 36 min |
| #4 | Eli | 1174 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #5 | zrfnd | 1026 | 0.26 | 27 min |





