








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 25% |
| Smokes | 355 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 597 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 498 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,457 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flula | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | KoNoYiHo | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Schnodder | 62% | 45 |
| #4 | Los Hartos | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Hendrik Lamar | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lyux | 50% | 6 |
| #9 | Syntrux | 47% | 55 |
| #10 | AKLeonie | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | flashwrap | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | brewzoid. | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnodder | 9 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Syntrux | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | fronkendudz | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Hendrik Lamar | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | flashwrap | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnodder | 187 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Hendrik Lamar | 112 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | fronkendudz | 106 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | brewzoid. | 94 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Syntrux | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hendrik Lamar | +3.37 | 50 | 67 |
| #2 | Schnodder | +2.72 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | KoNoYiHo | +2.27 | 36 | 48 |
| #4 | Lyux | +1.84 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | brewzoid. | +1.69 | 58 | 58 |





