








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1228 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1592 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1457 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1227 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,252 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsugua | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | koiboy | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Rice | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Miyagi | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Miyagi | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | N0SHA | 49% | 53 |
| #7 | 5555 | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | jugginbieber | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5555 | 4 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Rice | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | N0SHA | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | jugginbieber | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koiboy | 179 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #2 | tsugua | 108 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | N0SHA | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Miyagi | 49 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoopyPoopPoopless | +3.82 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | tsugua | +1.75 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | 5555 | +1.47 | 57 | 48 |
| #4 | Miyagi | +1.11 | 89 | 65 |
| #5 | Rice | +1.06 | 79 | 59 |





