








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3281 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2270 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1573 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2158 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,674 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 638 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kinstrebla | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Honda Suburoo Prius | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 50% | 179 |
| #4 | tsugua | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | YoBoiKuzzi | 49% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 50% | 179 |
| #4 | tsugua | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | YoBoiKuzzi | 49% | 96 |
| #6 | Miyagi | 48% | 105 |
| #7 | N0SHA | 47% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miyagi | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | N0SHA | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | YoBoiKuzzi | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | kinstrebla | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 765 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | Miyagi | 658 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #3 | tsugua | 630 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #4 | YoBoiKuzzi | 365 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Honda Suburoo Prius | 327 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoopyPoopPoopless | +3.10 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | tsugua | +0.94 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | Miyagi | +0.15 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | kinstrebla | +0.01 | 42 | 50 |
| #5 | Honda Suburoo Prius | -0.60 | 69 | 67 |





