








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 549 | 23% |
| Smokes | 422 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 702 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,418 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | when u and then you when the | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Rice | 56% | 136 |
| #3 | jugginbieber | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | The Mandalorian | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | kinstrebla | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jugginbieber | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | The Mandalorian | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | kinstrebla | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | ScuffedPanda | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | Wylie | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | The Mandalorian | 9 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | jugginbieber | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Wylie | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | ScuffedPanda | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | 268 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Wylie | 96 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | The Mandalorian | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | jugginbieber | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ScuffedPanda | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Mandalorian | +4.14 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Wylie | +3.08 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | Rice | +2.48 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | ScuffedPanda | +1.98 | 75 | 42 |
| #5 | kinstrebla | +0.73 | 32 | 57 |





