








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 2,205 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3182 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2636 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2530 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2078 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,753 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thor | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | 70% | 50 |
| #3 | baerben | 66% | 71 |
| #4 | Sajalol | 65% | 107 |
| #5 | bressan-hsk | 65% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | zanee- | 59% | 58 |
| #8 | HUGO BAWS | 57% | 113 |
| #9 | aha... | 57% | 145 |
| #10 | qqqqq | 53% | 17 |
| #11 | sensei bjarne | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUGO BAWS | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | aha... | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | bressan-hsk | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Sajalol | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | baerben | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aha... | 552 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | HUGO BAWS | 525 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | Sajalol | 308 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | zanee- | 167 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | 159 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | +2.89 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | bressan-hsk | +2.08 | 74 | 43 |
| #3 | baerben | +1.00 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | iceman tookz | +0.56 | 78 | 74 |
| #5 | aha... | +0.55 | 82 | 74 |





