








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,158 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 21% |
| Smokes | 632 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 730 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 777 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,572 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qqqqq | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | bressan-hsk | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | Sajalol | 77% | 30 |
| #4 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | iceman tookz | 66% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HUGO BAWS | 66% | 73 |
| #7 | leninur | 60% | 10 |
| #8 | zanee- | 59% | 46 |
| #9 | aha... | 58% | 52 |
| #10 | sensei bjarne | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUGO BAWS | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | iceman tookz | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | aha... | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Sajalol | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | sensei bjarne | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUGO BAWS | 368 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | iceman tookz | 302 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | aha... | 196 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | zanee- | 130 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sajalol | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | +4.03 | 90 | 79 |
| #2 | bressan-hsk | +2.09 | 69 | 52 |
| #3 | qqqqq | +1.50 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | aha... | +0.78 | 81 | 77 |
| #5 | iceman tookz | +0.74 | 75 | 79 |





