








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 536 | 29% |
| Smokes | 382 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 515 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 406 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $315,706 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leninur | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | bressan-hsk | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Sajalol | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | HUGO BAWS | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | baerben | 59% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | iceman tookz | 59% | 58 |
| #7 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Kooba | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | sensei bjarne | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | aha... | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceman tookz | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | HUGO BAWS | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | aha... | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | bressan-hsk | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Sajalol | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceman tookz | 275 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | HUGO BAWS | 190 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | aha... | 152 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | baerben | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sajalol | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sensei bjarne | +2.20 | 85 | 38 |
| #2 | aha... | +0.79 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | HUGO BAWS | +0.65 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | iceman tookz | +0.52 | 69 | 78 |
| #5 | baerben | +0.40 | 84 | 63 |





