








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 672 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Esplay | 25 matches | 2,091 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2199 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1884 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1978 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1643 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,938 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | vibZ3t0r1 | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | qqqqq | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | baerben | 66% | 73 |
| #5 | Sajalol | 62% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | zanee- | 60% | 40 |
| #11 | leninur | 57% | 14 |
| #12 | iceman tookz | 57% | 113 |
| #13 | aha... | 53% | 73 |
| #14 | sensei bjarne | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceman tookz | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | baerben | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | aha... | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | bressan-hsk | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Sajalol | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceman tookz | 431 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | aha... | 277 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sajalol | 210 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | baerben | 166 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | LS | 148 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | +2.62 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | bressan-hsk | +1.71 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | LS | +1.17 | 87 | 65 |
| #4 | baerben | +0.91 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | aha... | +0.78 | 82 | 75 |





