








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3081 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2988 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2169 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2760 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,378 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | BBC | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Krius | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Eggsellent | 58% | 62 |
| #5 | IxEuphoricxI | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | IxEuphoricxI | 50% | 56 |
| #6 | wobblyocean | 46% | 67 |
| #7 | ChikkenFukker | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | Carbon | 46% | 63 |
| #9 | no_shoot_pls | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggsellent | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Carbon | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | no_shoot_pls | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wobblyocean | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Eggsellent | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Carbon | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Michael | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | IxEuphoricxI | 29 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael | +2.14 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | BBC | +0.65 | 46 | 64 |
| #3 | Eggsellent | +0.44 | 42 | 55 |
| #4 | Krius | +0.41 | 39 | 49 |
| #5 | KorAmerican // [tC] | +0.28 | 58 | 68 |





