








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 305 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3357 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4180 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2192 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2871 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,469 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magic meat man | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Eggsellent | 51% | 100 |
| #3 | IxEuphoricxI | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | no_shoot_pls | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | KorAmerican // [tC] | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | no_shoot_pls | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | KorAmerican // [tC] | 46% | 63 |
| #6 | ChikkenFukker | 45% | 97 |
| #7 | BBC | 42% | 38 |
| #8 | hoonigan0311x | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggsellent | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | KorAmerican // [tC] | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | no_shoot_pls | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ChikkenFukker | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | IxEuphoricxI | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KorAmerican // [tC] | 230 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Eggsellent | 150 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | IxEuphoricxI | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | magic meat man | 86 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | no_shoot_pls | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IxEuphoricxI | +1.41 | 53 | 62 |
| #2 | KorAmerican // [tC] | +1.32 | 62 | 69 |
| #3 | magic meat man | +1.17 | 53 | 68 |
| #4 | no_shoot_pls | +0.64 | 69 | 40 |
| #5 | Eggsellent | +0.25 | 50 | 57 |





