








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1538 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2053 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1618 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1719 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,237 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magic meat man | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | no_shoot_pls | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Eggsellent | 54% | 71 |
| #4 | 3 | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Lightning Weener | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KorAmerican // [tC] | 50% | 56 |
| #8 | Carbon | 49% | 55 |
| #9 | ChikkenFukker | 47% | 57 |
| #10 | BBC | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | hoonigan0311x | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carbon | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Lightning Weener | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | KorAmerican // [tC] | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ChikkenFukker | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Eggsellent | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KorAmerican // [tC] | 178 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Carbon | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Eggsellent | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | wobblyocean | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lightning Weener | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KorAmerican // [tC] | +1.31 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | IxEuphoricxI | +0.98 | 52 | 66 |
| #3 | wobblyocean | +0.90 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | magic meat man | -0.24 | 36 | 68 |
| #5 | Eggsellent | -0.34 | 42 | 53 |





