








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5998 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5141 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3462 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3963 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,549,944 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bread pitt | 51% | 88 |
| #2 | Failed | 47% | 68 |
| #3 | Sixx | 43% | 122 |
| #4 | SterbenFear | 43% | 375 |
| #5 | Kumpelblase | 43% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | yak | 39% | 33 |
| #10 | Positive Mindset Gaming | 39% | 376 |
| #11 | Xtamon | 38% | 100 |
| #12 | Rose | 35% | 48 |
| #13 | kwit | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SterbenFear | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Ewanbb | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ALx | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Sixx | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Kumpelblase | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ewanbb | 1133 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | SterbenFear | 806 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | ALx | 386 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Positive Mindset Gaming | 346 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | Xtamon | 338 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xtamon | +4.42 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | ALx | +2.42 | 93 | 67 |
| #3 | wood | +1.29 | 72 | 53 |
| #4 | Ewanbb | +0.88 | 56 | 58 |
| #5 | Sixx | +0.72 | 76 | 72 |





