










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3873 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2790 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3452 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1745 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,842 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 743 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illl | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | L9 | 56% | 99 |
| #3 | jN | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | ★ alex | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | light | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Floppy | 50% | 54 |
| #7 | A Cute Potato | 50% | 74 |
| #8 | urmuffinsrburnin | 48% | 192 |
| #9 | 𐓏𐓏Jay𐓏𐓏 | 44% | 70 |
| #10 | cW senπ | 41% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𐓏𐓏Jay𐓏𐓏 | 13 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | A Cute Potato | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | urmuffinsrburnin | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | cW senπ | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | L9 | 6 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urmuffinsrburnin | 447 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Floppy | 306 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | jN | 233 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #4 | 𐓏𐓏Jay𐓏𐓏 | 229 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | A Cute Potato | 164 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ alex | +2.03 | 73 | 39 |
| #2 | light | +1.59 | 62 | 46 |
| #3 | 𐓏𐓏Jay𐓏𐓏 | +1.21 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | L9 | +0.96 | 60 | 50 |
| #5 | illl | +0.86 | 39 | 41 |





