








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 927 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9165 | 41% |
| Smokes | 5476 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3425 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4281 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,217 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | we miss Æ | 63% | 118 |
| #2 | n8 | 62% | 133 |
| #3 | ⚡️L | 59% | 199 |
| #4 | J3FF3R | 59% | 243 |
| #5 | Gly | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡️L | 22 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | ❤️I go to school by bus | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | we miss Æ | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | LifeIsAfkinMovie | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | J3FF3R | 10 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤️I go to school by bus | 948 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | LifeIsAfkinMovie | 686 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | we miss Æ | 674 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #4 | ⚡️L | 575 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #5 | J3FF3R | 567 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | we miss Æ | +3.82 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | ❤️I go to school by bus | +2.48 | 70 | 68 |
| #3 | ⚡️L | +1.56 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | lun | +1.41 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | J3FF3R | +0.90 | 73 | 55 |





