








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5836 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7065 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8810 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7710 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,637,060 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yunda | 61% | 64 |
| #2 | Arberino | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | Kiroh | 57% | 162 |
| #4 | joelmei | 56% | 66 |
| #5 | Cill Blinton | 52% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiroh | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Cill Blinton | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | joelmei | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Yunda | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Arberino | 2 | 0.0019 |





