








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 540 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 155 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7424 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7282 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6350 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5931 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,696,486 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kronuk | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | DerAless -iwnl- | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | makz | 57% | 74 |
| #4 | mo | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | Detektive i dog your mom | 57% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Detektive i dog your mom | 57% | 46 |
| #6 | Casper35k | 55% | 310 |
| #7 | +49neuerung | 54% | 243 |
| #8 | ✠ ERZ ✠ | 53% | 104 |
| #9 | f1psyy =DD | 50% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makz | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Casper35k | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | +49neuerung | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | f1psyy =DD | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | ✠ ERZ ✠ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1psyy =DD | 1015 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #2 | Casper35k | 909 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #3 | +49neuerung | 573 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | makz | 295 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | mo | 190 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casper35k | +1.54 | 80 | 74 |
| #2 | mo | +0.81 | 63 | 52 |
| #3 | Kronuk | +0.66 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | Setech | +0.41 | 88 | 65 |
| #5 | f1psyy =DD | +0.38 | 81 | 68 |





