








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3023 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2105 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1810 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2310 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,342 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabzy | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | silvan | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | ✪ keanuS- | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Sir Gilbert | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Jobbo_Y | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #20 | 777_Kewa_777 | 42% | 12 |
| #21 | sKeLeTr0n | 36% | 14 |
| #22 | atr4ik | 33% | 9 |
| #23 | -sLY | 33% | 9 |
| #24 | Yuno | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuno | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | IronTony | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | pauf </3 | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Brett.io | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | sKeLeTr0n | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5ch0lli | 292 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Brett.io | 206 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | IronTony | 168 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | sKeLeTr0n | 146 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | pauf </3 | 136 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Gilbert | +2.35 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | mIKEY | +2.05 | 67 | 76 |
| #3 | Enno | +1.85 | 83 | 45 |
| #4 | ✪ keanuS- | +1.58 | 92 | 67 |
| #5 | TRiBAN | +1.20 | 74 | 70 |





