








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3395 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4619 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2952 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2941 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,938,931 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | asd | 49% | 331 |
| #4 | ElCsuppen | 46% | 359 |
| #5 | .s | 44% | 216 |
| #6 | Sanyó | 43% | 121 |
| #7 | Zéfin ☠ | 42% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asd | 25 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | .s | 19 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | ElCsuppen | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Zéfin ☠ | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Sanyó | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElCsuppen | 1159 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #2 | asd | 694 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | Sanyó | 416 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | .s | 405 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Zéfin ☠ | 234 | 0.05 | 6 min |





