








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 874 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5895 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5814 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4866 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4190 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,866,246 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | asd | 50% | 444 |
| #3 | Skay | 46% | 359 |
| #4 | Sanyó | 46% | 176 |
| #5 | Zéfin ☠ | 46% | 292 |
| #6 | .s | 45% | 315 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asd | 28 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | .s | 26 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Skay | 19 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Sanyó | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Zéfin ☠ | 8 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asd | 910 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #2 | Skay | 900 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | Sanyó | 628 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #4 | .s | 601 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | Zéfin ☠ | 300 | 0.05 | 7 min |





