








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3931 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5649 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3111 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3975 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,518,544 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | return of the twat | 50% | 74 |
| #2 | asd | 48% | 303 |
| #3 | Zéfin ☠ | 46% | 261 |
| #4 | ElCsuppen | 45% | 315 |
| #5 | Skay | 44% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zéfin ☠ | 46% | 261 |
| #4 | ElCsuppen | 45% | 315 |
| #5 | Skay | 44% | 216 |
| #6 | Sanyó | 42% | 131 |
| #7 | krézi frog | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asd | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Skay | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Sanyó | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Zéfin ☠ | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | return of the twat | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElCsuppen | 1017 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | asd | 614 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | Skay | 507 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Sanyó | 473 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #5 | return of the twat | 245 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .s | +1.44 | 51 | 57 |
| #2 | return of the twat | +1.23 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | asd | +0.88 | 45 | 60 |
| #4 | ElCsuppen | -0.62 | 33 | 65 |
| #5 | Skay | -1.73 | 44 | 59 |





