








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1321 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3411 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2929 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3541 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,072,772 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asd | 47% | 297 |
| #2 | ElCsuppen | 46% | 292 |
| #3 | .s | 46% | 261 |
| #4 | Skay | 42% | 237 |
| #5 | Sanyó | 41% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asd | 47% | 297 |
| #2 | ElCsuppen | 46% | 292 |
| #3 | .s | 46% | 261 |
| #4 | Skay | 42% | 237 |
| #5 | Sanyó | 41% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asd | 21 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | .s | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Skay | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Sanyó | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ElCsuppen | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElCsuppen | 936 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Skay | 647 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | asd | 626 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #4 | .s | 475 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | Sanyó | 434 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .s | +1.97 | 48 | 57 |
| #2 | asd | +0.96 | 44 | 60 |
| #3 | ElCsuppen | -0.39 | 32 | 64 |
| #4 | Skay | -0.81 | 48 | 58 |
| #5 | Sanyó | -2.22 | 33 | 81 |





