








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 373 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1529 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1573 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1816 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,502 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jessley | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | Willow_The_Wisp | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Ivy ♥ | 50% | 244 |
| #5 | Maeday | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Willow_The_Wisp | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Ivy ♥ | 50% | 244 |
| #5 | Maeday | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | sleepy | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivy ♥ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Jessley | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | sleepy | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Willow_The_Wisp | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Maeday | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivy ♥ | 520 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Willow_The_Wisp | 140 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jessley | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Maeday | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil_E | +5.85 | 87 | 28 |
| #2 | Jessley | +3.18 | 62 | 51 |
| #3 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | -1.88 | 31 | 26 |
| #4 | Maeday | -1.89 | 40 | 58 |
| #5 | Ivy ♥ | -3.15 | 52 | 36 |





