








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 277 | 16% |
| Smokes | 299 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 634 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 558 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,242,049 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyer | 223 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | ;P | 172 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ivy ♥ | 163 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | DanGoldGem | 159 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | KudoOkami | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |





