








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 4% |
| Smokes | 1672 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1389 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1078 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,323 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | kristaps | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | Hook | 38% | 39 |
| #11 | aidzis | 38% | 24 |
| #12 | Pistolu Virtuozs | 36% | 14 |
| #13 | owner | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helo`u | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | normals | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Hook | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | aidzis | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | outsider | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helo`u | 89 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | outsider | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | kristaps | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | normals | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | kulers | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |





