








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 581 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1690 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 690 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 688 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,645 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peterino Whatsappino | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | aidzis | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Helo`u | 37% | 43 |
| #4 | Hook | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peterino Whatsappino | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | aidzis | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Helo`u | 37% | 43 |
| #4 | Hook | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peterino Whatsappino | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Hook | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Helo`u | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | aidzis | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helo`u | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Peterino Whatsappino | 16 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #3 | Hook | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | aidzis | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | normals | +3.04 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | Helo`u | -1.58 | 31 | 66 |
| #3 | Hook | -1.61 | 41 | 37 |
| #4 | aidzis | -2.09 | 42 | 21 |
| #5 | Peterino Whatsappino | -2.67 | 27 | 28 |





