








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3569 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3666 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3573 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3668 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,310 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazie | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | E0W DIG | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Arr0w | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | Ng1nx | 57% | 75 |
| #5 | Sk1pz | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Eghøj | 52% | 42 |
| #7 | EC0 | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | Chr1ll3r | 47% | 34 |
| #9 | Baby Jesus | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | ❤ Gren4Di3r | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chr1ll3r | 8 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Ng1nx | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Arr0w | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Sk1pz | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Baby Jesus | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ng1nx | 202 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sk1pz | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chr1ll3r | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eghøj | 77 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Arr0w | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chr1ll3r | +2.90 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Ng1nx | +2.46 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | Dr0nen | +1.25 | 88 | 62 |
| #4 | Arr0w | +0.58 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | Fazie | +0.09 | 72 | 56 |





