








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 496 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3659 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2893 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4642 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4049 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,300,512 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 900 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby Jesus | 23 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | fat a snicker | 17 | 0.0230 |
| #3 | Hacker man (StatTrak™) | 14 | 0.0160 |
| #4 | Jas | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | i'm shit too | 8 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby Jesus | 258 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jas | 185 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | fat a snicker | 116 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | CYK0 | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Seb | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fat a snicker | +3.22 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | Chr1ll3r | +2.29 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Jas | +1.77 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Seb | +0.88 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | BjeRRe | +0.67 | 68 | 72 |





