








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 28% |
| Smokes | 252 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 229 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 146 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,868 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ng1nx | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Arr0w | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Sk1pz | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | Dr0nen | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | ListePikken... | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr0nen | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Arr0w | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Sk1pz | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Ng1nx | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Chief KeiF | 1 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr0nen | 180 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sk1pz | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ng1nx | 103 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Arr0w | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chief KeiF | 13 | 0.24 | 0 min |





