








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1295 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2601 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2011 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2072 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,637 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeRgEnT_KC | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | KAJ | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | CYK0 | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Seb | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | Jas | 56% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Seb | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | Jas | 56% | 63 |
| #6 | Chr1ll3r | 55% | 148 |
| #7 | BjeRRe | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | Dr0nen | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chr1ll3r | 42 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Jas | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | KAJ | 5 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Dr0nen | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | BjeRRe | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chr1ll3r | 429 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jas | 147 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dr0nen | 78 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | CYK0 | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | BjeRRe | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BjeRRe | +1.95 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | Jas | +1.64 | 69 | 53 |
| #3 | Chr1ll3r | +1.51 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | Seb | +1.26 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | KAJ | +0.52 | 70 | 51 |





