








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2153 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1528 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1370 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2320 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,598 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ernesto | 545 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | F_M_J | 457 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Zeradius | 393 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Aces0092 | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | SLoppY_LFT | 69 | 0.18 | 2 min |





