








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6652 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3503 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3429 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3991 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,262,174 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shlappies | 82% | 85 |
| #2 | iFraggs | 79% | 84 |
| #3 | Anthrax | 78% | 27 |
| #4 | Kalawila | 75% | 166 |
| #5 | SpoegKoedoe | 73% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zeradius | 67% | 435 |
| #9 | ☭Phoenix | 62% | 137 |
| #10 | F_M_J | 56% | 134 |
| #11 | Aces0092 | 54% | 35 |
| #12 | SLoppY_LFT | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shlappies | 15 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | ☭Phoenix | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Zeradius | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ice_cream | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | F_M_J | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeradius | 967 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #2 | Shlappies | 556 | 0.33 | 15 min |
| #3 | F_M_J | 464 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | ☭Phoenix | 434 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #5 | Kalawila | 419 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shlappies | +4.81 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Kalawila | +3.12 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | SLoppY_LFT | +3.00 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | Aces0092 | +2.47 | 87 | 67 |
| #5 | Zeradius | +2.03 | 81 | 70 |





