








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1546 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5562 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6150 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6849 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4534 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,715,410 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shlappies | 83% | 71 |
| #2 | iFraggs | 78% | 91 |
| #3 | Anthrax | 75% | 36 |
| #4 | Kalawila | 74% | 179 |
| #5 | ice_cream | 69% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭Phoenix | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Ernesto | 14 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Shlappies | 13 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | SpoegKoedoe | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ice_cream | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ernesto | 1889 | 0.22 | 39 min |
| #2 | ☭Phoenix | 565 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | F_M_J | 531 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Shlappies | 494 | 0.35 | 13 min |
| #5 | Kalawila | 466 | 0.13 | 12 min |





