








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 520 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 159 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6009 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6747 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5495 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3531 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,249,120 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >drunK² | 57% | 134 |
| #2 | CRZISONFIRE | 53% | 99 |
| #3 | What are you doing??????? | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | Timmy | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | ^fr0p | 49% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ^fr0p | 49% | 157 |
| #6 | proX | 49% | 43 |
| #7 | smts y opp jst hvng a rly gd day | 48% | 116 |
| #8 | Jokn 3 | 48% | 71 |
| #9 | Bruce Twarcen | 47% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >drunK² | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ^fr0p | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | What are you doing??????? | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Bruce Twarcen | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | smts y opp jst hvng a rly gd day | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >drunK² | 473 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | What are you doing??????? | 355 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | smts y opp jst hvng a rly gd day | 298 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | ^fr0p | 272 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jokn 3 | 242 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >drunK² | +2.51 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | proX | +1.40 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | Timmy | +1.27 | 59 | 60 |
| #4 | BOT Tr1cK | +0.69 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | CRZISONFIRE | +0.39 | 56 | 53 |





