








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2600 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1939 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3140 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2141 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,773 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EIK3000 | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Samyyy ツ | 71% | 31 |
| #3 | Sawyer | 69% | 26 |
| #4 | MrClot | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | ,-blacksh33p-, | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Eddie Miami | 51% | 37 |
| #12 | Christiæn | 50% | 22 |
| #13 | BuRRoLoCo | 47% | 30 |
| #14 | epix | 46% | 13 |
| #15 | mxrxex | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddie Miami | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Asin | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Christiæn | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | ✪ ⌜ptRliciouら⌟ ✪ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | tuN1 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuN1 | 509 | 0.41 | 13 min |
| #2 | ✪ ⌜ptRliciouら⌟ ✪ | 183 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Asin | 139 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Eddie Miami | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | 128 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EIK3000 | +2.41 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | tuN1 | +2.08 | 75 | 78 |
| #3 | Christiæn | +2.00 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | THE PROFESSOR 8{ | +1.69 | 65 | 84 |
| #5 | Sawyer | +1.33 | 69 | 59 |





