








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1304 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1102 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1652 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,185 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ,-blacksh33p-, | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | Short_y | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | ✪ ⌜ptRliciouら⌟ ✪ | 52% | 122 |
| #4 | mxrxex | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Asin | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Short_y | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ,-blacksh33p-, | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ✪ ⌜ptRliciouら⌟ ✪ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | WannaBe φ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ⌜ptRliciouら⌟ ✪ | 282 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Asin | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Short_y | 96 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | ,-blacksh33p-, | 62 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | mxrxex | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p i 0 乁⁞ ◑ ͜ر ◑ ⁞ㄏ | +4.48 | 67 | 79 |
| #2 | Short_y | +3.40 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | ✪ ⌜ptRliciouら⌟ ✪ | +2.65 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | CARRY_BERRY_JDV <3 | +1.81 | 88 | 45 |
| #5 | ,-blacksh33p-, | +1.64 | 46 | 68 |





