








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 447 | 26% |
| Smokes | 515 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 230 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 508 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,115 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twomads half smoked catnip | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | 💢 Lans | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | berzhan | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Jøsh | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | collob | 59% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Useless S. Grant | 47% | 19 |
| #12 | ✪ Flame | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | J U N G K O O K | 29% | 7 |
| #14 | Kipe | 20% | 5 |
| #15 | Casual Autism Enjoyer | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | 303 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | The Italian Wonder | 181 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Andylovesmangos | 111 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | berzhan | 58 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Useless S. Grant | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | +3.29 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | The Italian Wonder | +2.28 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | J U N G K O O K | +1.57 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Yuki23 | +1.53 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | 💢 Lans | +1.04 | 69 | 49 |





