








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 911 | 42% |
| Smokes | 399 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 443 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 393 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $51,582 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twomads half smoked catnip | 49% | 35 |
| #2 | collob | 48% | 54 |
| #3 | Brogle | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Andylovesmangos | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | The Italian Wonder | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Italian Wonder | 17 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | collob | 14 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Twomads half smoked catnip | 13 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | ✪ Flame | 8 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Casual Autism Enjoyer | 7 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | 381 | 0.36 | 11 min |
| #2 | The Italian Wonder | 212 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | berzhan | 165 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kipe | 95 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Flame | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | +3.95 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | Andylovesmangos | +3.05 | 65 | 68 |
| #3 | The Italian Wonder | +2.93 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | ockeside | +2.49 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | Kipe | +0.51 | 46 | 62 |





