








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2895 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2169 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2169 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2104 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,832,964 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | berzhan | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | Twomads half smoked catnip | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Brandon | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | collob | 55% | 217 |
| #5 | Shrekt | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | 1458 | 0.33 | 42 min |
| #2 | Kipe | 282 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | Andylovesmangos | 258 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | Useless S. Grant | 222 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | J U N G K O O K | 211 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | +3.78 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | Brandon | +3.45 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Jøsh | +1.94 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | Kipe | +1.72 | 51 | 69 |
| #5 | Vik | +1.64 | 64 | 50 |





