








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8911 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7909 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5191 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5488 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,463,124 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | efci | 53% | 57 |
| #11 | Petrol | 51% | 85 |
| #12 | Elephant Spunk | 49% | 55 |
| #13 | mysterial | 46% | 54 |
| #14 | boyslayer666 | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Petrol | 14 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | (OTW) ☁oSNAP☁ | 13 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | kraytos | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Elephant Spunk | 8 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 1515 | 0.16 | 45 min |
| #2 | kraytos | 645 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | snowrowdy | 381 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #4 | wiynne | 310 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | Petrol | 296 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (OTW) ☁oSNAP☁ | +1.90 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | snowrowdy | +1.65 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | kraytos | +1.53 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | pear * | +1.40 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | . | +0.98 | 74 | 66 |





