








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3428 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2570 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2294 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2604 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $912,438 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rillooo | 65% | 68 |
| #2 | Häger | 64% | 50 |
| #3 | 💛inte jeppe | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | ✪FURIOUS | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | samme | 58% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | NoobDown | 56% | 261 |
| #9 | j-p | 52% | 236 |
| #10 | ⸸HIGH PRIESTESS⸸ | 49% | 63 |
| #11 | GraeddpaJ | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | Gluto ヅ | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j-p | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | NoobDown | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | samme | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | rillooo | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ✪FURIOUS | 4 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoobDown | 1443 | 0.27 | 36 min |
| #2 | j-p | 833 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #3 | samme | 426 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #4 | rillooo | 400 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #5 | Gluto ヅ | 286 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoobDown | +2.43 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | 14+ シ | +1.65 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | j-p | +0.77 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | 💛inte jeppe | +0.24 | 69 | 70 |
| #5 | Häger | +0.20 | 48 | 68 |





