








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5332 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3681 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2064 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2407 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,571,838 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 14+ シ | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ErK- | 15 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Coolish | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | NoobDown | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | rillooo | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoobDown | 1306 | 0.26 | 33 min |
| #2 | rillooo | 714 | 0.30 | 17 min |
| #3 | 14+ シ | 578 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | Gluto ヅ | 481 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #5 | samme | 374 | 0.31 | 10 min |





