








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 808 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 2,037 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7354 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5509 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3403 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4236 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,721 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Häger | 67% | 57 |
| #2 | 14+ シ | 56% | 261 |
| #3 | Gogmadore | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | samme | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | KlUrT CoDeInE | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | j-p | 52% | 246 |
| #8 | rillooo | 51% | 82 |
| #9 | Gluto ヅ | 49% | 39 |
| #10 | ⸸HIGH PRIESTESS⸸ | 47% | 170 |
| #11 | GraeddpaJ | 41% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j-p | 826 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | 14+ シ | 601 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | rillooo | 460 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #4 | ⸸HIGH PRIESTESS⸸ | 289 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | samme | 283 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoobDown | +3.75 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | 14+ シ | +1.52 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | j-p | +1.29 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | Häger | +0.96 | 53 | 65 |
| #5 | samme | -0.26 | 70 | 62 |





